Sais Jokes / Recent Jokes

(read with atalien accent)
I go to america and i go into a small restauraunt i ask for 2 piss of toust he only give me one piss i tell him i want a piss he sais go to the bathroom i say no no no you dont understand i want a piss on me plate he says you beter not piss on de plate you son of a bitch i dont even now the guy he call me a son of a bitch.
then i go to a fancy restauraunt and he give a spoon a knife but no fock i tell him i wanna fock he says evrybody wanna fuck i say no no no you dont understand i wanna fock on de table he say you better not fuck on de able you son of a bitch.
Then i go back to my hotel and there is no shit on de bed i tell him i wanna shit he says go to the bathroom i say no no no you dont understand i want a shit on the bed he sais you better not shit on de bed you don of a bitch.
the next morning i go to the counter he says peace to you i say piss on you to you son of a bitch im going back o italie.

A blonde walks into an electronics store and asks the guy at the counter if she could buy this toaster, pointing to it. The guy sais No, because your blonde. So she comes back the next day after changing her hair colour. She asks if she cane buy a taster, pointing to it. The guy sais No, because your blonde. She does the same thing the next day and gets the same reply, so she asks the guy How can you tell im blonde? The guy sais Thats not a toaster, its a microwave!

dave looks at his buddy rick at work and sais....YA NEVER GUESS WHAT I JUST SIGNED UP FOR? rick sais....WHATS THAT? dave sais....PARACHUTE JUMPING.rick sais... YA FOOL...YUR ALMOST 65 YEARS OF AGE AND YA TELL ME YA SIGNED UP FOR THAT... WHY? dave sais....THE WIFE WANTS US TO TRAVEL WHEN WE RETIRE NEXT YEARrick shout out....BUT YUR SCARED OF HEIGHTS dave sais...I KNOW AND ILL BE BACK IN 3 WEEKS HAVING FINALLY CURED THIS PHOBIA SO WE CAN ENJOY RETIREMENT rick wishes him luck and the 2 workers partways 2 weeks pass and rick looks up and sees dave at work and says....HEY....THOUGHT YA SAID YOU WOULD BE GONE FOR 3 WEEKS? dave sais....WELL....IT DIDNT GO AS PLANNED rick sais..SO....WHAT HAPPENED? dave sais... WELL...AFTER THE 1ST WEEK OF INCLASS WORK...I THOUGHT I WAS READY BUT WHEN WE WENT UP IN THE PLANE....AND IT WAS MY TURN TO JUMP... I GOT TOO SICK TO MY STOMACH....I JUST COULDNT rick sais....SO WHAT THEN? dave adds...MORE CLASSWORK TIME... AND WHEN I WENT BACK UP TO JUMP AGAIN... I more...

so its bettys first day in school and her mom sais what do u say when a stranger asks you to go to there house my mommy told me not to so i think i dont whant to the mom says good.
so she gose to school comes back a boy asks here to go to his house she sais my mommy told me not to so i think i dont want to please ok so they enter the house. then he sais go up to my room she sais my mommy told me not to so i think i dont want to please ok
she gose up to his room then he tells here to strip herself then lay on the bed she sais my mommy told me not to so i think i dont want to pleas ok then she strips of her cloths and getts on the bed and then he gets on top of betty the perents come in and the perants say get of our sun then betty says my mommy told me not to so i think i dont want to.

the was a girl naked just about to get in the bath so she gets in the bath and she hears a knock on the door and she sais who is it?its the blind man o come in then so he walks in goes up stairs and sais nice tits were do ya want ye blinds