Salman Jokes / Recent Jokes

Salman Joke

Aamir Khan, Vivek Oberoi and Salman Khan die together in an accident and go
to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here
in heaven: Don`t step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their
best to avoid them, Aamir accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter
with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together
and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity
chained to the ugly woman!"
The next day, Vivek Uberoi steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn`t miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for Aamir Khan.
Salman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY more...

comments (0)

Salman Rushdie one-liners

These are all from a newspaper feature article in the San Francisco
Chronicle Datebook, March 5, 1989, though I've heard at least three
of the one-liners on the radio or TV. I don't feel too bad about
extracting the best lines, since that's what the writer did with the
comics. The entire article is a full page; these are just a few of
the lines.
Offensive to Moslems/Iranians and bookburners, of course.
From the San Francisco Chronicle Datebook section, March 5, 1989,
"'The Satanic Verses'-Comics Laugh It Off"
(The names are Bay Area or nationally-known stand-up comics...)
"Khomeini's idea of 'opening up to the West' means allowing
non-Muslims to hunt Rushdie." -Don Stevens
[Commenting on small nightclub crowd] "This looks like a Salman
Rushdie book-signing party." -Fred Reuss
"If there were a $6 million bounty on me, I'd kill myself just for the
reward. For that much, I think the Muscular more...