Scrooge Jokes / Recent Jokes
Someone bought Ebenezer Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank.
Why did he do that?
He was trying to save time!
Scrooge: Are you superstitious? ’
‘Not at all, ’ came the reply.
‘Good, ’ Scrooge said. ‘Then will you lend me $13 please? ’
Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank. Why did he do that? He was trying to save time!
Parties, presents, those Christmas crying jagsso much to do! That's why Modern Humorist wants to simplify your holidays with an advent calendar you don't have to wait to open. No tiny doors to release each day, no little stale chocolates: It's all the advent you want all at once. If you've already missed some days, get reading!
December 1
Shining star of the East (Here, Naos in the constellation Puppis. Naos is a blazing supergiant with no official Christian affiliation and may be admired by all religious peoples, as well as nonreligious peoples.)
December 2
A sweet child singing carols (It may appear the child is mouthing the word "bottom" but surely that is a misperception on your part.)
December 3
A sprig of mistletoe (Poisonous, class B; swelling possible.)
December 4
Albert Finney (Plays Scrooge when Michael Caine demands cut of back end.)
December 5
Scene of falling snowflakes (Flakes #4, 678, 090 and #35, 097, 977? more...