Sentence Jokes / Recent Jokes

Anyone who starts a sentence "With all due respect..." is about to insult you.

If a man is in a forest, talking to himself, with no women around, is he still wrong?
If a woman is in a forest, talking to herself, with no
man around, is she still complaining?
Did you know that the shortest sentence in the
English language is "I am"?
Did you know that the longest sentence is
"I do"?
Sex is hereditary. If your parents didn't have it,
chances are that you won't either.

The children were being called upon to make sentences using words chosen by the teacher. When it came to Little Johnny's turn, the teacher grinned and challenged him to make a sentence using the words 'Defeat, Defence, Deduct and Detail'.
Little Johnny, known for being a slow learner, nervously stood up while all eyes were focused on him, waiting for his reply.
He thought and thought. Finally, a smile come over his face and he proudly shouted, "Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail."

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."
The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence".
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence". The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."
The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence".
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says,
"Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green,... I Pink it up, and sez Yellow?"