Sneak Jokes

THE QUARTERBACK SNEAK: People who leave Mass before it's over without grave reason.DRAFT CHOICE: Choose a seat near the back door.DRAW PLAY: What many children (and not a few adults) do with their bulletins during Mass.BENCH WARMER: Those whose only participation is their attendance at Sunday Mass.BACKFIELD IN MOTION: Making two or three trips outside the Church during Mass.STAY IN THE POCKET: What happens to a lot of money that ought to go to the Church.SUDDEN DEATH: The penalty to the priest who preaches more than twenty minutes.THE BLITZ: The mad stampede for the doors as the Iconastasis doors are closed.

EA Sports has released a sneak peak of NFL Madden 11. The game is so realistic that you can actually smell the alcohol on Matt Leinart's breath.

Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

How do you sneak a dog out of Burger King? Put in a doggie bag.

Easy code system to communicate with other cat owners and with the animal clinic.
Sex:
XFemale, spayed, no interest.
X+Female, spayed, but still interested.
X++Female, intact, but not particularly excitable.
X+++I am a kitten factory.
YMale, neutered, no interest.
Y+Male, neutered, but still interested.
Y++Male, intact, but not particularly excitable.
Y+++I would go through a burning building to get at a female in heat.
Size ("largeness"):
L-I fit easily into your shirt pocket.
L-I can curl up in two cupped hands.
L-I'm somewhere between kitten-sized and average.
LI'm average cat size, just right for your lap.
L+I'm starting to slip off the side of your lap.
L++I'm large enough to make a German Shepherd think twice.
L+++People sometimes mistake me for a mountain lion.
Weight:
W-I'm so thin that you can count my bones.
W-I'm slim, but healthy.
WI'm an average cat, not too thin and not too more...