Sopranos Jokes

How do musicians do it...
Altos are sandwiched between sopranos and tenors.
Altos have body.
Bach did it with the organ.
Band members do it all night.
Band members do it in a parade.
Band members do it in front of 100,000 people.
Band members do it in public.
Band members do it in sectionals.
Band members do it on the football field.
Baritones do it deeper.
Bass clarinetists put it between their legs and blow.
Basses and altos do it lower.
Basses have rhythm.
Beethoven did it apassionately.
Beethoven was the first to do it with a full orchestra.
Choir boys do it unaccompanied.
Clarinetists do it with alternate fingerings.
Contrabass clarinetists do it deeper with a lot of tongue and steady rhythm.
Cymbal players do it with a crash.
DJs do it on request.
DJs do it on the air.
Drummers beat it.
Drummers do it in 4/4 time.
Drummers do it longer.
Drummers do it with both hands and more...

I was just visiting the National Italian American Foundation website looking for tips on gelling my hair, when I found a whole section protesting The Sopranos for depicting Italian Americans as mobsters.
Here's a tip, National Italian American Foundation! Instead of protesting a TV show for portraying Italians as mobsters, why not protest every Italian I grew up with in Jersey for pretending to be mobsters? While you're at it, see if you can get them to put on less than a gallon of cologne every day.


Your pal, Kurt Metzger

Q: How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A1: One - she holds the lightbulb in the socket, stands still and lets the world revolve around her.
A2: 1,000 - One to do it and 999 to say "*I* could have done it *better*..."
A3: Two - One to do it, and one to push the ladder out from under her.
A4: Three. One to do it, her understudy, and one to say she could have done it better.

How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to climb up the ladder, one to kick the ladder out from under her and a third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."