Tom Cruise Jokes

Now that I've seen a picture of Tom Cruise's baby, I'm not sure I want to have his babies any more...

Paramount Chairman Sumner Redstone announced the movie company has officially severed ties with actor Tom Cruise, noting that "Tom's recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount."

Well, after seeing both War of the Worlds and Mission Impossible III, I can honestly say I know what Redstone means...

In recent speeches, McCain points out that Obama is too "out of touch" to be President of the United States. He goes on to say that America needs to stay on the same track. The old red, white and blue needs someone who is as attuned to the hearts and minds of its citizens as George W. Bush.
Inside sources report that McCain hired Tom Cruise last week as his new speechwriter, to help him in this close race, because America knows how "in touch" Tom Cruise is. Good choice McCain!

April 2 - April 8

"Screech never had a problem with it".


- Serial stalker Emily Diane Leatherman, arrested after showing up at Tom Cruise's house uninvited.

Woman's Day reports Katie Holmes has reached her boiling point with Tom Cruise. The Aussie tabloid claims she is tired of his demands to change her clothes and make-up as well as attend Scientology "mommy" classes. A source says, "Katie actually refers to herself as Tom's'Stepford Wife' to her friends."

Tom says Katie can leave anytime she wants.....all she has to do is pick the lock....Knock out the guards....swim across the moat and make her way across the mine fields in front of the compound....i mean house.