Tom Cruise Jokes / Recent Jokes

April 2 - April 8

"Screech never had a problem with it".


- Serial stalker Emily Diane Leatherman, arrested after showing up at Tom Cruise's house uninvited.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will be getting married on Saturday at what is being reported as an "undisclosed Italian location".

Woman's Day reports Katie Holmes has reached her boiling point with Tom Cruise. The Aussie tabloid claims she is tired of his demands to change her clothes and make-up as well as attend Scientology "mommy" classes. A source says, "Katie actually refers to herself as Tom's'Stepford Wife' to her friends."

Tom says Katie can leave anytime she wants.....all she has to do is pick the lock....Knock out the guards....swim across the moat and make her way across the mine fields in front of the compound....i mean house.

During TomKat's wedding today the minister asked Tom if he would provide Katie with "...a pan, a comb, and perhaps a cat?" Cruise responed, "I'll hook her up with that other stuff but I'm not a real big fan of pussy."

A rainy day Tom Cruise went to play football with his friend and he kick on players leg not the ball and the finally his friends are upset on the Tom Cruise playing style.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A video of actor Tom Cruise touting himself and fellow Scientologists as "authorities on the mind" has appeared on the Internet.

Tom Cruise is an "authority on the mind" like Queen Latifah is an authority on the body.

People Magazine turned down Tom Cruise's offer to sell pictures of his infant daughter Suri. Explained an editor, "We'd pay 5 million for pictures of Suri's conception, but Tom Cruise isn't in them."