Van Jokes / Recent Jokes
After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother.............................. Please Gogh His dizzy aunt..................................... Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes.......................... Gotta Gogh The constipated uncle.............................. Cant Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store....... Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia..................... U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white.......... Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois............................ Chica Gogh His magician uncle.................................. Wherediddy Gogh His Italian uncle....................................... Day Gogh His Mexican cousin.................................. Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half brother.......... Grin Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach................. Wellsfar Gogh The ballroom dancing more...
The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War.
BIGGEST MAN… The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see him and was astounded when the impish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington Indiana, “when I was at the train station with my company, my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head. ”
LETTER HOME… A young soldier left home to join the army. He told his girl friend that he would write every day. After about six months, he received a letter from his girlfriend that she was marrying someone else. He wrote home to his family to find out who she more...
I was in the pub yesterday, and i saw Vincent Van Gogh in the corner.
I called him over and asked him if he fancied a drink, to which he replied.' no thanks, I've got one ear!'.....
Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!! Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood.... good thing he didn't say two! Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS. For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA. New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!! They are making a new boxing term for Tyson.... instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh. "Evander was Van Gogh'd in the third!!!"Can't beat um... Eat um!!!! If Tyson fights Golatta, is it more points for a low blow or an ear bite? In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!!!!!!! Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice. Iron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!
Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!! Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood.... good thing he didn't say two! Evander after the fight,"Maybe I shouldn't have told him to' Bite Me'" Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS. For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA. New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!! They are making a new boxing term for Tyson.... instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh. "Evander was Van Gogh'd in the third!!!" Can't beat um... Eat um!!!! If Tyson fights Golatta, is it more points for a low blow or an ear bite? In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!!!!!!! Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice. Iron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!
An ice cream van owner was found dead today in his van. The man was discovered under the ice cream dispenser, covered in ice cream, hundreds and thousands and raspberry syrup.
Police believe he topped himself.
An actor auditioned for a part in a musical comedy many years ago. The director was impressed with the young man's talent. He could dance, he could sing, he had perfect comic timing. The director asked the young man his name." Penis van Lesbian," the man replied proudly." Well," said the director, "we'll have to change that." "Oh," the young man said, "I could never change my name. It's my heritage." "Well," said the director, "if you're not willing to change your name, you'll never go anywhere in show business." The young man left the theater dejectedly. A couple of years later, the director and the young man happened to meet on the street." Do you remember me," asked the young man?" Yes, I do," said the director. "I almost cast you once for a musical comedy. What have you been up to." "Well, I finally took your advice," the young man said. "I changed my name and I have more...