Wage Jokes / Recent Jokes
Candidate Bill Clinton: Promised to increase minimum wage
President Bill Clinton: Wants to keep the wage the same
Candidate Bill Clinton: Attacked Bush's policy of sending illegal Haitians back to Haiti
President Bill Clinton: Decided to maintain Bush's policy on Haiti.
Candidate Clinton, campaign ad, January 1992
"I've offered a comprehensive plan to get our economy moving again....It starts with a tax cut on the middle class."
Candidate Clinton, Jan. 12, 1992
"I want to make it very clear that this middle-class tax cut, in my view, is central to any attempt we're going to make to have a short-term economic strategy."
President-elect Clinton, Jan 14, 1993
"From New Hampshire forward, for reasons that absolutely mystify me, the press thought the most important issue in the race was the middle class tax cut. I never did meet any voter who thought that."
President Clinton, first Oval Office address, Feb. 15, more...
An answer to the eternal question “Is it better to be a jock or a nerd? ”
Michael Jordan will make over $300, 000 a game: $10, 000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game.
Assuming $40 million in endorsements next year, he’ll be making $178, 100 a day (working or not)!
Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52, 000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see a movie, it’ll cost him $7. 00, but he’ll make $18, 550 while he’s there.
If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he’ll make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7, 415/hr more than minimum wage (after the wage hike).
He’ll make $3, 710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90, 000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2. 00 every second.
He’ll probably pay around $200 more...
BETTER TO BE A JOCK OR A NERD?
To help you in formulating your answer, the following should be considered:
Michael Jordan will make more than $300,000 a game, $10,000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game. Assuming he also makes $40 million in endorsements next year, he will be making $178,000 a day, working or not.
If he goes to see a movie, it will cost him $8.00 (without popcorn and drink), but will make $18,500 while he is there.
If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he will make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7,415 per hour more than minimum wage, even after the wage hike.
He will make $3,710 while watching each episode of "FRIENDS". If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX (cost $90,000), it will take him a whole 12 hours to earn the money.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at a rate of 2 dollars every second. He will probobly pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, more...
Candidate Bill Clinton: Cut taxes for middle class
President Bill Clinton: Wants to raise them
Candidate Bill Clinton: Vowed not to tamper with Social Security
President Bill Clinton: Wants to tax more SS benefits
Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed energy tax cuts
President Bill Clinton: Wants energy tax increases
Candidate Bill Clinton: Claimed he had the ability to raise $45 billion by making foreign corporations pay their fair share of U. S. taxes
President Bill Clinton: Modified and lowered his figure to only $11 billion
Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed Medicare payment cut of only $4. 4 billion and ran ads attacking Bush for recommending more cuts
President Bill Clinton: Wants at least $34 billion in Medicare cuts
Candidate Bill Clinton: Promised a guarenteed college education for anyone wanting one
President Bill Clinton: Proposing to spend $98 million--it will only cover 4, 800 students in the more...
Entry level position:
You'll be making minimum wage.
Entry level position in an up-and-coming company:
You'll be making minimum wage; we'll be bankrupt in a year.
Profit sharing plan:
Once it's shared between the higher-ups, there won't be a profit.
Competitive salary:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Join our fast-paced company:
We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.
Nationally recognized leader:
Inc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since.
Immediate opening:
The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.
Casual work atmosphere:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up, although a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
Competitive environment:
We have a lot of more...
The following came through a long sequence of forwardings, but managed to
retain an attribution:
Kathy Dysert
[email protected]
Here's something that came to my husband with some other information.
AND HERE IS SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:
Jordan will make over $300,000 a game, $10,000 a minute assuming he
averages about 30 minutes a game.
Assuming $40 mil in endorsements next year, he'll be making $178,100 a day
(working or not)!
Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while
visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see Independence Day, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make
$18,550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage (after the wage hike)
He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Seinfeld.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a
whole 12 more...