Warning Jokes / Recent Jokes
On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"
(why...a duh!)
On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.
(ah-ha! So that's what happened to my little sister!)
On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.
(oh sure...now they tell me!)
On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.
(aye matey...but the sharks love 'em!)
On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake.
On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.
On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.
(well that's just great...now what do I use!)
On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2- shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97.
(now you know WHY there was a Y2K bug!)
On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.
On a blender: Not for use as an more...
Warning to shoplifters: Anyone caught shoplifting will be beaten, gagged, whipped and tortured. Any survivors will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"(why...a duh!)On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.(ah-ha! So that's what happened to my little sister!)On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.(oh sure...now they tell me!)On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.(aye matey...but the sharks love 'em!)On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake.On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.(well that's just great...now what do I use!)On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2- shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97.(now you know WHY there was a Y2K bug!)On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.(he-he...I gotta try this one!)On syrup of ipecac: Caution: May cause more...
A tourist driving down a deserted road came face to face with a sign that said: ROAD CLOSED. DO NOT ENTER. As the road ahead looked pretty good, he ignored the sign and drove on.
A few miles later he came to a bridge that was down. He promptly turned around and retraced his route. As he reached the point where the warning sign stood, he read the words on the other side: WELCOME BACK, STUPID!
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.