Beatles Jokes / Recent Jokes
Britain has announced it will issue a stamp with the picture of "The Beatles" on it. Sources say Yoko Ono will tear off one-quarter of the stamp, discard the remaining three-quarters and make up the difference with assorted other stamps.
Paul McCartney dedicated a few songs last night which I thought was nice. He sang songs for his pals George Harrison and John Lennon then dedicated My Love to Linda but the song that brought a tear to my eye was a new one he dedicated to Heather "Die you money hungry selfish bitch!"
...Yoko Ono has stated that she will never marry again or date. She said she is quite content in an Onogamous relationship.
Billionaire and former member of The Beatles, Paul McCartney, (who did you think I was talking about when I said billionaire and Beatles? Ringo?) is splitting from his wife, Heather Mills.
(Now here comes the hack.) When asked about Paul's fortune, she said she made a great living before Paul as a model and she can go back to modeling... she's thinking of starting a line of designer SHOE (singular), or following her passion for cooking and getting a job at the I-HOP. And there you have it. Primo hack.
The woman who inspired the Beatles song "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" passed away after a long battle with Lupus...in the sickbed, with doctors.
In the Beatles classic "When I'm Sixty-Four," Paul McCartney predicted how his life might be at the age of 64. Now, Sir Paul IS 64, and he's having some marital woes. His impending divorce might cost him a huge chunk of his fortune.
Perhaps the song should be re-recorded. Sing along if you'd like:
When I am older and marry too young,
To a woman wrong for me,
Didn't get a pre-nup to save my ass,
One-legged gal gonna take half my cash.
The tabloids say I made a mistake,
That I married a whore,
Will you still squeeze me, will you still fleece me, when I'm 64?
You'll take the castle, the boat and the plane,
Even my Steinway,
But I'm not worried-I can get some quick dough,
Make a new album, get 5 mil for each show!
I am a legend, the press loves and reveres,
You a media bore,
Will you still squeeze me, will you still fleece me, when I'm 64?
Paul McCartney's soon-to-be ex, Heather Mills, said that being called a gold digger was, "Worse than losing my leg." Upon hearing the news, the motorcyclist who ran over Mills' leg said, "Um, so we're cool now, right?"