Beef Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy and his friend go to a little coffee shop, and
the guy orders a hamburger. The guy behind the counter
spits in his hands and rubs them against each
other, grabs a chunk of ground beef from a dirty
bowl with flies flying around, and spits on the
grill. Then he puts the chunk of beef under his
armpit to make a patty and then throws the patty on
the grill.
The guy ordering the hamburger looks at his friend
and says, "God damn, that is gross." The friend
says, "That's nothing, you should see how he makes
the donuts."
what do you call a cow with no legs?
a ground beef
what do you get when you cross a cow with a dog?
a hound beef
what goes "ooo, ooo, ooo"?
a cow with no lips
why do cows where bells?
because thier horns doesnt work
what newspaper do cows read?
the daily moos
what do you call a cow spying on another cow?
a steak out
There's a Mexican guy, an Irish Guy, and a blond guy working at the top of a construction site when the lunch whistle sounds. The Mexican opens his lunch box and says, "Ugh! Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump to my death!" The Irish man opens his lunchbox and says "Ugh! Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time, I'm going to jump to my death!" The blond guy opens his lunch and says "Ugh! Baloney and cheese! If I get baloney and cheese one more time, I'm going to jump to my death!" Well, the next day, they all sit down for lunch again. The Mexican guy opens his lunchbox, sees the burritos, and jumps to his death. The Irishman opens his lunchbox, sees the corned beef and cabbage, and jumps to his death. The blond guy opens his lunchbox, sees the baloney and cheese, and jumps to his death. At the funerals, the three widows were crying together about their husbands' tragic deaths. The Mexican's wife more...
A blonde had just gotten back from her honeymoon and was cooking roast beef. Before she put it in the pan she cut off the end. Her husband asked her,"why do you do that?" "thats the way my mother did it,"the blonde replied.So they asked her mother who was also blonde why she cut the end off the roast beef,"thats the way my mother did it,"So they asked her mother who was also a blonde why she did it and she said, "because the pan was too small."
Egon Ronay, you’re not
Two Jewish students were rooming together in Manchester and they always shared the cooking of the evening meal.
One day, when Sam came home, he did not find a hot meal waiting for them, only sandwiches. So he asked Moshe, “What`s with the cheese sandwiches? You promised to cook us roast beef for tonight.”
Moshe replies, “I did! But the roast beef caught fire and it spread to the vegetables so I had to put it out with the chicken soup.”
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.