Cheetah Jokes / Recent Jokes

(1)You are next. .
When I was younger I hated going to weddings.
It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me,"You are next".
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. [:))]
(2) Divorce Joke...
"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully",
The divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."
"That's very nice, your honour", the husband said.
"And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks, myself".

(3) Tarzan &dead Cheetah
What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow! New Underwear.

(4) Women in Heven
What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!

The pretty young thing was a trifle taken aback at her first visit to the Cheetah in New York City. After watching the wildly gyrating couples doing the latest in discotheque steps, she declined her escort's invitation to join them on the dance floor.
"Come on, pussycat," implored the young man. "You can do it." "I know I can," the girl replied, "but not standing up."

A gazelle goes out for her usual afternoon walk. About an hour later, she realizes that she is lost out in the open. Unskilled in the ways of the real world, she asks a cheetah, "Excuse me sir, do you know what time it is?" With a grin, the cheetah said, "It's lunchtime."

'Twas the night after Thanksgivingand all through the nell,not a creature was stirringexcept Tiger on his cell.
Elin was stalking her man to find more.With hopes to catch Cheetah textinghis whore.
The moms' in their nightieslaid down for some sleep,Elin continued her search for that creep.
When all through the house there arose such a clatter!Elin found his golf clubs,his face she would shatter!
Neighbors ran to there windows,tore open the curtain,Holy shit! It was Tigerscreaming and hurtin'!
Barefoot he sprinted barelytouching the grass.Madly hoping and praying to save his own ass.
Help Jesus, help Buddah, Oprah, Tom Cruise!Somebody please save me from theobituary news!
Elin swift on his heels screaming, swinging and crying,I'll kill you, you Cheetah!I knew you were lying!
A smack to his forehead, crunch went his teeth.OMG! Elin! I never did cheat!
Tiger ran to the car,tore open the door.Crash went a window!That's for your whore!
He more...