Coli Jokes / Recent Jokes

Health officials have discovered the source of a multi-state E. coli outbreak to be bagged spinach.

In other news, Popeye was found dead at his house boat in San Francisco this morning. His wife, Olive Oyl, said he switched to bagged spinach later in life, claiming he hadn't got the, "Muskles t'open da cans n'more!! Ak! Ak! Ak! Ak! Ak! Ak!"

Taco Bell is pulling green onions from restaurants nationwide because of the E. Coli scare in green onions. Loyal taco bell csutomers are disgusted...not about the E. Coli, but about the fact that they have been eating vegetables this whole time.

"I'm Going To Be the First One On My Block To Become Anaerobic!"
Above: Escherichia coli bacteria at the Rancid concert.

This unwashed chicken thigh on the TGI Friday's cook's counter I live in is sooooo played out. No one cool is moving here or going through binary fission any more. And to top it off, the other day, all of a sudden, some eukaryotes moved in and drove the property value way up. You get a membrane-bound nucleus and suddenly everyone thinks you're made of pure carbon. I think they're part of a human finger or thumb but these days my nucleoid's so tired of giving a crap, I can't say for sure.

So now in order to afford my loft space down by the skin, I'm going to have to find a roommate. A roommate! What am I, RNA? That shit is for introns! And I know how lazy I am. I don't want to go out and actually find someone to live with. So I'm almost definitely just going to divide and make a copy of me.

But that's gonna suck cause I more...

An Indiana Olive Garden was shut down after nearly 400 people became sick from eating its food.

The health inspector who found the bacteria responsible commented, "Well, I suppose technically it's E. coli. But it's a little bland, and I certainly wouldn't call it'homestyle Italian' E. coli."