Democrat Jokes / Recent Jokes

“I will leave the country if Hillary Clinton becomes president.” –Dick Morris on "Hannity & Colmes"
This means that if Hillary Clinton becomes president, Dick Morris will most likely not leave the country.

Italian researchers say that shots of Botox can relieve constipation.
"Apparently Italians inject it in a different place," said Senator Nancy Pelosi.

Hillary Clinton is debating running for President.
Bill Clinton has been heard saying "If Hillary decides to run for President, I will help her campain..cause...a win for Hillary is an Intern for Me."

A Republican, a Libertarian, and a Democrat are seated separately in a restaurant when a poor man walks in; unbeknownst to any of them, it is Jesus.

The Republican summons the waiter and asks him to serve the poor man the best food in the house and put it on his tab; the waiter does so. The Libertarian asks the waiter to please serve the poor man iced tea and to put it on his tab. The waiter does so. The Democrat then asks the waiter to bring the poor man pecan pie with ice cream and to put it on his tab.

When Jesus is finished eating, He goes over to the Republican and says, "I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat. Thank you. I see you are blind." and He touches the man's eye, and it is healed.

Jesus then goes over to the Libertarian and says, "I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink. Thank you. I see you have a bad arm." and He touches the man's arm, and it is healed.

Then Jesus walks over to the more...

Like other Chia products,a little water and seed and after 3 days it starts growing. The company had also product tested a Chia-Joe Biden, but had to nix the idea when after six months of a little water and seed, it did nothing.

There will only be 49 contestants in the Miss Black America pageant this year. No one wants to wear a banner reading "Idaho".

Apparently President Obama has a strong stimulus package, just not a fertile one.