Entertainment Jokes / Recent Jokes

Now that I've seen a picture of Tom Cruise's baby, I'm not sure I want to have his babies any more...

Oprah Winfrey says she will try to make the Oprah Winfrey Network "allthat I know it can be." Unfortunately for Oprah, the Food Network hasalready been created.

In an interview for Entertainment Weekly, Actress Winona Ryder addressed rumors of a sequel to one of her most remembered films, "Heathers." Ryder acknowledged that Christian Slater has agreed to make a cameo in the sequel. Ryder did not comment on whether his role was only a cameo due to his otherwise overwhelming schedule. A rep for the sequel's producers did suggest to Daily Comedy that negotiations had been tough between themselves and Slater's shift supervisor at Chipotle.
In addition, Ryder neither confirmed or denied the film's reported working title, "Heathers on a Plane."

A few years prior to the Gulf War, Barbara Walters filed a report on gender roles in Kuwait. In the report, Barbara noted that, in traditional Islamic fashion, women customarily walked approximately ten feet behind their husbands.
Barbara returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.
Curious about this change in tradition, Barbara approached one of the Kuwati women and asked for an explanation.
"This is marvelous," Barbara said. "What has enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?"
"Land mines!" replied the Kuwati woman.

"American Beauty and the Beast"
The Beast has a midlife crisis and takes a job at a fast-food restaurant, while the Beauty has an affair with a real-estate tycoon.

"The Straight Love Story"
Ryan O'Neal tragically runs over Ali McGraw while mowing his lawn.

"That Girl, Interrupted"
Marlo Thomas goes to the nuthouse.

"The Talented Mr. Whipple"
An elderly toilet-paper spokes- man goes on a killing spree in Europe, murdering anyone who squeezes the Charmin.

"Soylent Green Mile"
Charlton Heston finds out what prison food is really made of.

"All About My Mummy"
Pedro Almodovar's bittersweet saga about a 3,000-year-old mummy and his struggle to find love in the modern world.

"The Animal House Rules"
A group of frat boys, led by John Belushi, drink too much hard cider and open an abortion clinic, with predictably wacky more...

Hi Erma,

This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up to. Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peaches and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it, from DNA that I had just sitting around in my craft room.

By then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old standard Stewart twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you in on a little secret: I didn't have time to make the tables and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.

Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So I repainted the room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling. Then, while the homemade bread was rising, I took antique candle molds and made the more...

This Richard Gere public kissing incident is serious and just to give you an idea of how serious. Today when I called computer tech support, I got an American.

After about five minutes of us going back and forth saying, “I don’t know” we wound up just having a conversation about baseball.