Happily Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Now, that looks like a happily married couple." Remarks the husband.
"Don`t be too sure, my Dear. They are probable saying the same thing about us." Replied his wife.
Happily Addicted to the Web (Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")
Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin', From my mouth, drool is glist'nin', I'm happy--although My boss let me go-- Happily addicted to the Web.
All night long, I sit clicking, Unaware time is ticking, There's beard on my cheek, Same clothes for a week, Happily addicted to the Web.
Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man! Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?" With a listless shrug, I mutter, "No, man; I just discovered letterman-dot-com!"
I don't phone, don't send faxes, Don't go out, don't pay taxes, Who cares if someday They drag me away? I'm happily addicted to the Web!
Category: Situation
Body: A lecher, a drunkard and a smoker arrive at hell and the devil says to them:
"Don't worry, everything is happy here. To you, lecher, I am going to give you a full room of beautiful girls. To you, drunkard, I give you a thousand boxes of beer. And to you, smoker, I give you one ton of cigarettes. I will return after 10 years to see how you are."
The 10 years passed and the devil returns. The lecher, happily, says to the devil: "Give me more girls than these, they are already boring to me." Soon it's going to see the drunkard and, also happily, says to the devil: "Give me more beers. I have already finished all of them". At last, it's going to see the smoker. But the devil finds the smoker has gotten very upset, and asks him: "Why you are annoying if I have given one ton of cigarettes?"
Why was the smoker annoying, even if the devil had given him one ton of cigarettes?
Hint: Read carefully.
Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland"Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin', From my mouth, drool is glist'nin', I'm happy--althoughMy boss let me go--Happily addicted to the Web. All night long, I sit clicking, Unaware time is ticking, There's beard on my cheek, Same clothes for a week, Happily addicted to the Web. Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man! Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?" With a listless shrug, I mutter, "No, man; I just discovered letterman-dot-com!"I don't phone, don't send faxes, Don't go out, don't pay taxes, Who cares if somedayThey drag me away? I'm happily addicted to the Web!
(Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin', From my mouth, drool is glist'nin', I'm happy -- althoughMy boss let me go --Happily addicted to the Web. All night long, I sit clicking, Unaware time is ticking, There's beard on my cheek, Same clothes for a week, Happily addicted to the Web! Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man! Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"With a listless shrug, I mutter "No, man; I just discovered laugh-a-lot-dot-com!"I don't phone, don't send faxes, Don't go out, don't pay taxes, Who cares if somedayThey drag me away? I'm happily addicted to the Web! Happ-ilyyyyy, ad-dict-eeeed to the Weeeeeb!!! (Yeah!)
Marriage: An institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and a woman gets her master's.
Politician: Someone who chose politics because he discovered it to be the most promising of all careers -and he was always good at making promises.
Doctor. A person who cures your ills by pills and kills you by his bills.
Shaving: An exercise that is performed on the face from time to time to get rid of the excess blood that gets accumulated there.
Alimony: A mode of payment that enables a woman who at one time lived happily married to live happily unmarried.
Cheat: A person for whom, when he borrows money, it's not only against his principle to pay interest, but also against his interest to pay the principle.
A happily married man is one who understands every word which his wife didn't say.