Helicopter Jokes / Recent Jokes

GOD will save me The police were going door to door warning everyone to evacuate because the river was rising. One door they came to, the man said "GOD will save me". The river continued to rise and he was forced to move everthing to the second floor of his house. A man in a boat came by and offered to save him. Again he said "GOD will save me". Pretty soon the second story was flooded and he was forced to get on the roof of his house. A helicopter came by and tried to save him and yet again he said "GOD will save me". It wasn't long before the house was completely covered and the man died and went to heaven. He confronted God with "Why didn't you save me, GOD?" And God said " I sent you the police, a boat and a helicopter. Why did you stay in the house?"

There was a man called Joe, who lived near a river.
Joe was a very religious man.
One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and he was forced to climb onto his porch roof.
While sitting there, a man in a boat comes along and tells Joe to get in the boat with him.
Joe says "No, that's ok. God will take care of me."
So, the man in the boat drives off.
The water rises, so Joe climbs onto his roof.
At that time, another boat comes along and the person in that one tells Joe to get in.
Joe replies, "No, that's ok. God will take care of me."
The person in the boat then leaves.
The water rises even more, and Joe climbs on his chimney.
Then a helicopter comes and lowers a ladder. The woman in the helicopter tells Joe to climb up the ladder and get in.
Joe tells her "That's ok."
The woman says "Are you sure?"
Joe says, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me.
Finally, the more...

A business man urgently needed to talk to his star employee so he called him at home on a Saturday. He was very surprised when the phone was answered before the first ring was even complete. A small boy's voice whispered on the other end:"Hello?"
"Is your father at home?"
"Yes," the boy whispered.
"Can I speak to him?"
"No, he's busy."
"Is your mom home?"
"Yes"
"Can I talk to her?"
"No," the voice said still in a whisper.
"Is there anyone else there?"
"Yes," the boy whispered, "The fireman and the policeman, but they're busy talking to mom and dad."
The man was getting frustrated now, but he heard a loud noise on the other end of the line. "What's that noise"
The little boy replied in an awed whisper: "It's a helicopter! They're landing a helicopter on our lawn."
Angrily the man shouted more...

A helicopter flying in the air had a rope attached to it. There were twenty girls hanging onto the rope, nineteen of them were blondes, one of the was a brunette.
One of the blondes says, One of us is going to have to let go of the rope.
The brunette says, I will, and then she makes a sad speech about how much she will miss her family and friends.
The blondes were so moved they began to applaude.

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said ''WHERE AM I?'' in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said ''YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.''
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the ''YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER'' sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded ''I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar to their help-lines, more...

In a small midwestern town, nestled-up in the wee rolling hills of
southern Indiana, there's a microcosm of all that is (and shall ever
be) the Great Mid West. It's known as Brown County. Yup. That's
my hometown!
And if you want to know what's going on in Brown County, you only
have to read the Sheriff's Log in the local paper, The Brown County
Democrat. Heck, even if you don't want to know what's going on, you
still read it for the comic relief!
This is a small collection of some of the actual phone calls received
by the Sheriff's department in good 'ol Brown County, Indiana:
Man on Bellsville Road reported someone has knocked down
his mailbox and then came back and ran over it.
11:14pm Man reports suspicious vehicle on Butler Road.
11:34pm Deputy reports vehicle had a couple of "lovers"
in it. They were advised to pull the car off the road.
Man has found a couch hidden behind a wood pile.
Woman's washing more...

Many years ago, there was a high occurrence of helicopters crashing in Malaysia reported in the news. The US government, therefore immediately, sent an expert to investigate. Following a pre-planned schedule, the American expert followed as co-pilot beside a pre-selected Malaysian pilot. Everything went smoothly, the helicopter took off and ascended to the clear blue sky. The helicopter went up and up. The Malaysian pilot then started to behave strangely. He was shivering. Then suddenly, he switched off the ignition switch of engine. The American pilot immediately shouted,' Mayday, mayday!' and furiously questioned the Malaysian pilot for his action. The Malay pilot sneezed the words,' Cold, cold...'