New York Jokes / Recent Jokes

New York reliever Ambiorix Burgos has given himself up to police following a hit-and-run accident. Because if there's one thing a Mets reliever knows how to do, it's give up.

I hate September. It was always back to school, so I had to be ready. It was back to homework, so I had to turn off the Yankees and study. It was my sister’s birthday and I had to be..um..nice. Yuk. But just in case that wasn’t bad enough, the Jewish holidays are here!

Oy friggin’ vey.

I hate these holidays. Like four days in synagogue. In case you were wondering, the services are partially in English and partially in Hebrew, but mostly suck. If you are comforted by being in a room of people with your religious background, love a good solemn pray, or can’t get enough of a cantor, who sounds as if he has infected sinuses, chanting in Hebrew for 4 HOURS (Some people go all day! I swear God leaves after an hour and a half), I guess you’ve come to the right place.

Personally, I find the Rabbi’s sermon fascinating. You see, no matter how much sleep I get the night before, when he starts that sermon, boom, I’m out cold. Fascinating. He’s like a more...

He is expected to be signed by the New York Mets.

NEW YORK - A couple can proceed with a lawsuit against a fertility clinic they filed after the wife gave birth to a daughter whose skin they thought was too dark to be their child, a judge has ruled.



"I still can't believe that skanky-ass ho cheated on me with another test tube, but I's gonna get PAID!" un-daddy was heard exclaiming.

Contending that Bernard Madoff sent at least a million dollars worth of jewelry as gifts to family members and friends last month, federal prosecutors asked a judge on Monday to revoke his bail and send him to jail. Family and friends were delighted with the gifts until they discovered they had received cubic zirconia and fool's gold.

Major League Baseball suspended Philadelphia's J.C. Romero for 50 games after ruling him "negligent." Using the same charge, the Mets suspended the guy who opens the door to their bullpen.

A teenagegirl suffering from amnesia and found in New York City has beenidentified by relatives. "I won't be relieved until they get here and tellme who I am, what happened to me, and absolutely confirm that I'm not LindsayLohan."