New York Jokes / Recent Jokes

In a bold step to keep pace with the industry leaders, the nation's third largest drugstore chain, Rite Aid Corp., announced today it will purchase the U.S. Eckerd and Brooks pharmacies.
Not to outdone, Duane Reade spokeman Mchael Toblin also announced that NYC's ubiquitous pharmacy will now speed up their plan of turning every store in Manhattan into a Duane Reade.
The plan should be completed by next Tuesday.

Mayor Bloomberg is scheduled to take the wraps off the city's own "NYC" brand of free condoms.

The only catch is users will have to go outside to smoke afterwards.

The city-branded condoms will come in packets with a variety of colors representing the different subway lines. Because nothing says sexy like the New York City subway system.

New euphemism for sex: Taking the F-train to Brooklyn.

Women in all five boroughs are already bracing themselves for the latest line from their partners: "Hey, baby, there's another train coming right behind this one."

A New York restaurateur has made the world's most extravagant pizza -- a $1,000 pie topped with six varieties of caviar and fresh lobster.

It's expensive, but if you order two, it's only $1,800 and comes with cheesy bread and a 2-liter.

A woman said she was financially raped by Bernie Madoff.I don't think Bernie will be all that safe in prison.Talk about people being in arrears.

Donald Fehr is expected to get a compensation package worth over $11 million. Fehr plans on using it to buy two Yankee tickets.

Scientists have the first evidence that those "reprogrammed stem cells" that made headlines last month really have the potential to treat disease: They used skin from the tails of sick mice to cure the rodents of sickle cell anemia. Al Sharpton is organizing a march, because the cure only works on white mice..

In New York City, approximately 1,600 people are bitten by other humans every year.

I know this city is called the big apple but seriously. Taking bites out of each other, inviting friends for dinner, thats not on! I invited a friend for dinner, she was late so I gave her the cold shoulder.