New York Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dear guy playing electric violin in the Union Square subway station in NYC,
I hate you.
I hate you because the "music" you're playing feels like crossbow bolts being shot into my head at close range.
I hate you because you have a long, frizzy ponytail and black jeans.
I hate you because your sonic assault is bouncing off the tiled walls and low ceiling of the subway station and is making me feel like I'm having a stroke.
I hate you because of that cheesy, "sexy illusionist" face you're making. Seriously, stop arching that eyebrow.
I hate you because "Rock Violin" is not a thing. Plugging it in does not change that.
I hate you because you've managed to gather a small crowd of overweight tourists that I'm forced to walk around.
I hate you because you have a CD of your work for sale in your open electric violin case.
I hate you because it sounds like you're killing a creature that is half cat, half baby.
But most of more...
NEW YORK (AFP) - By a 67-47 percent margin, New Yorkers think senator Hillary Clinton would do a better job as US president than their former mayor Rudolph Giuliani, a Quinnipiac University poll found.
In a related story, the Democratic majority in Congress passed the 28th Amendment. This amendment will go into effect in 2008 and award New York State all 538 electoral college votes.
Rudy Giuliani's daughter supports Obama for president. What they haven't told you is that she also supports Obama for "Dad."
Former Yankee infielder Tom Tresh has died at the age of 71. His passing is particularly devastating since he would have been a huge upgrade over Robinson Cano.
Randy Winn has signed a $2 million deal with the Yankees. Which is perfect since they usually pay $2 million dollars per win.
Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani was released from a St. Louis hospital Thursday after spending the night to undergo tests for flu-like symptoms.
Giuliani returned home today but there are reports his campaign is still bed-ridden.
As usual, it's been a busy week here in the Large Apple, with many happenings. Here are a few highlights.
Five years later, the "seriously-we're-not-kidding-this-time-we-really-mean-it" final plans for the WTC site have been unveiled. Again. There have been so many of these things, the early plans trigger bidding wars on ebay.
Christie Whitman has been insisting she repeatedly warned the Giuliani administration about the dangerous air in NYC after 9/11, but that Rudy's people ignored her. However, transcripts show she made several statements at the time saying the air was quite safe. Of course, she was referring to the air in her hermetically-sealed hovercraft, E.P.A.-ONE.
50 Cent was arrested today for driving an uninsured Lamborghini through midtown Manhattan. He told police he was just making a quick "In-N-Out" run with fellow criminal Paris Hiton. When reminded there are no In-N-Out Burgers in New York, Fitty replied, "Who said more...