New York Jokes / Recent Jokes
Among the fraud victims who invested money with arrested New York money manager Bernard Madoff is Mets owner Fred Wilpon. Sadly, this comes right after Wilpon was stung by another bad investment-- the New York Mets bullpen.
The New York Mets have decided to remove Doc Gooden's autograph from the wall of a member's only section at Citi Field and put it in a more public area. Based on Gooden's personal history, they might want to put in on top of a bathroom mirror.
A New York City man attempted to commit suicide yesterday by blowing up his townhouse, sending debris everywhere.
How selfish do you have to be to try and kill yourself and take the whole block with you? What a bad neighbor. You couldn't just jump off the building? Or better yet, stay inside and pop a few pills?
"Nah. If I go, I'm taking Starbucks, Taco Bell and the Gormans from next door with me."
To make it worse, the guy LIVED.
So, he's inconsiderate AND a failure. Oh, will there be dirty looks at the next block party.
A new school has opened in New York City. The first Gotham chapter of the Michigan based Charisma Arts will begin holding classes in August. The school is geared towards helping meet meet and connect with women without the prerequisite Jagermeister shots.
Courses range from the beginner course, "Women, Drop the 12-Sided Dice and Talk to Them" to the more advanced studies, "When to Use a Roofie" and "How to Act Like a Navy Seal."
Special Guest Lecturer and Professor Emeritus: Archbishop Don "Magic" Juan (Pictured Above)
What: Seven day cruise.
Where: Bermuda and The Bahamas.
Who: Here are the five vacationers:
Sister: Married three years. Mom to 16-month-old. Pregnant again...
Brother-in-law: Good egg. Very patient. Well, he did marry my sister...
Dad: 81-years-old. Last summer, quadruple bypass surgery. Gets tired fast doing anything, with the exception of asking when I’m getting married...
Nephew: Age: 16 months. Says like three words (which is three more than his daddy)...
Lenny: Anti-social comedian. Lives on Yankees baseball and potato chips-neither of which you could find on the cruise...
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At a Boston Red Sox game on Saturday, a pregnant woman collapsed and died, her baby was saved....below is a picture of the son seconds after his birth.
Newly acquired Francisco Rodriguez told the rest of the NL East that the Mets are the team to beat. That sound you hear is the rest of New York not holding their breath. The Mets are actually the team to beat, as proven by the Phillies the last two years.