New York Jokes / Recent Jokes

According to Page Six in the NY Post, actor Ralph "Schindlers List" Fiennes has started up a steamy romance with actress Ellen Barkin. They were spotted at a hotel cuddling before heading up to his room. However she should watch out due to the fact that Fiennes recently was urged to take an HIV test after having unprotected sex with a flight attendant on a Quantas flight.

I just hope he doesn't pass along any diseases that may rival what was passed along when Maid In Manhattan was released.

The New York Mets signed Angels reliever Francisco Rodriguez. Rodriguez said that while he had many offers on the table, this was the one that allowed him to be the only relief pitcher on the team.

The New York Mets traded Aaron Heilman for JJ Putz, marking the first time in history that a Putz was traded for a putz.

The good news for Massa is that he is now qualified to run for governor of New York.

New York Yankee Hideki Matsui had his left knee drained and is out indefinitely. The Mets are suing for copyright infringement.

Venezuelan authorities are scheduled to exhume the body of former major leaguer Geremi Gonzalez. Mainly to check if he's healthy enough to pitch for the Mets.

Eric Massa, responding to charges he groped a male page, responded, "Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe..."
Apparently, his biggest complaint against Rahm Emanuel's physical contact in the Congressional Gym showers is that Rahm is lousy at tickling.
(Rumors are that Emanuel was just in there trying to keep a fish alive by holding it under the shower head.)