Peterson Jokes / Recent Jokes

Norm Peterson's Famous Quotes (from TV's' Cheers')
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' Can I draw you a beer, Norm? '
' No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.'

' How's a beer sound, Norm?'
' I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.'

' What's shaking, Norm?'
' All four cheeks and a couple of chins.'

' What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?'
' Going Down?'

' What's new, Normie?'
' Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're
demanding beer.'

' What'll it be, Normie?'
' Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel.'

' What would you say to a beer, Normie?'
' Daddy wuvs you.'

' What'd you like, Normie?'
' A reason to live. Give me another beer.'

' What'll you have, Normie?'
' Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a
glass of whatever comes out more...

Woody: “What’s shakin’ mister Peterson? ”
Norm: “All four cheeks and a couple of chins. ”
Woody: “How’s it goin’ Mr. P.? ”
Norm: “It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there and I’m wearin’ Milkbone underwear. ”
Woody: “Can I draw you a beer Mr. P.? ”
Norm: “I know what they look like, just give me one. ”
Woody: “What’s goin’ down Mr. P.? ”
Norm: “My butt on that stool. ”
Norm: “I’m the ideal weight for someone 10 feet tall. ”
Coach: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
Norm: No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.
Coach: How about a beer, Norm?
Norm: Hey I’m high on life, Coach…. Of course, beer is my life.
Coach: How’s a beer sound, Norm?
Norm: I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.
Coach: What’s up, Norm?
Norm: Corners of my mouth, Coach.
Coach: Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?
Norm: With a lot of expensive surgery, more...

The following are actual questions written to pastors from children across the world.

Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.

Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix

Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert Anderson, age 11

Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven

Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany

Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, more...

Florida State football coach Bill Peterson: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." He also said, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
Mike Tyson, about writer Wallace Matthews: "He called me a rapist and a recluse. I'm not a recluse."
Weightlifting commentator Pat Glenn: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."
Alan Minter: "There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
Football coach Bill Peterson: "Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
Basketball player Jason Kidd: "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
Soccer coach Ron Greenwood: "I don't hold water with that theory."
Baseball player Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters: "Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."
Tennis more...

Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.
Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix
Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert, Page 11, Anderson
Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven
Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany
Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago
Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma
Dear Pastor, I more...