Skydiving Jokes / Recent Jokes
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days,
he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane.
After a bit, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens.
He tries again. Still nothing.
He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens.
He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can't
believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going *up*!
Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver -- by this time scared out of his wits -- yells, "Hey,
do you know anything about skydiving?"
The other guy yells back, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving? Perfect setup for skeet shooting.
Once there was this guy that went skydiving.After he jumped out of the plane, he discovers his parachute is broken.
His companion says: "Yeh wanna race,eh?"
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
10. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
11. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
12. A closed more...
What do you call a skydiver with no girlfriend?
Homeless
What's the difference between God and Skydivers?
God does not think he is a SKYDIVER!
What do you call an all-blonde skydiving team?
A new version of the Lawn Darts game.
What kind of crazy bird yells "Polly wants a cracker" when he jumps from an airplane?
A parrot trooper.
What do you call a skydiver with no arms and no legs??
Give up?..... It's Mark!!
And what was the name of his dog??
It's Spot!
Why do birds sing?
They don't have to pack when they've landed!