Star Trek Jokes / Recent Jokes
Recently I represented a paper I draw cartoons for at the Buffalo Comicon. Obviously out looking for exposure and finding new advertisers for the paper.
This may suprise you but some comic book people are what you might call....strange. A lot of comic book people are well over middle age and appear to still live with their parents. Now, I met a bunch of cool artists that have it together and may even rent their own apartment. But, the comic book fans.....uh, a little cuckoo. I could only compare it to a minor league trekkie convention.
If you read this and say that I am lying, but you are reading this in your mom's basement surrounded by boxes of DC and Marvel comic books and no girlfriend in your near future, maybe you should reevaluate things. Get out. Get some sun. I am a big Spiderman and X-Men fan. However, my real life is not associated with the characters ever. It's called.....reality.
Top 10 Signs You've Watched Too Much Star Trek:10) You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the Green Skinned Orion Slave Girl in episode number 7. 9) You pull the legs off your hamster so you'll have a tribble. 8) You tried to join the Navy just so you could serve aboard the Enterprise. 7) Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a Klingon and torture you for information. 6) You went to San Francisco to see if you might bump into Kirk and crew while they were in the 20th Century looking for a whale. 5) Your college thesis was a Comparison of the Illustrious Careers of T.J. Hooker and Captain Kirk. 4) You fly into a homicidal rage anytime people say "Star Trek? Isn't that the one with Luke Skywalker?" 3) You have no life. 2) You recognize more than 4 references on this list. 1) You join NASA, hijack a shuttle, and head for the coordinates you calculated for the planet Vulcan.
Top 10 Ways To Shut Up A Non-Trek Girlfriend Without Killing Her10. Tell her "Your ears canna stan the strain!" 9. Vulcan Neck Pinch. 8. Have an Android made of her then when she starts speaking tell her to "Shut Up!" (See, "I, Mudd" - TOS episode). 7. Wave Phaser in her face and tell her you will stun her with it. 6. Use transporter to split her into two separate personalities. Phaser Evil Girlfriend and keep Good Girlfriend. (See, "The Enemy Within" - TOS episode). 5. Tell her your watching the episode where Picard gets naked. 4. Ask if she wants to see the Picard Maneuver. 3. Try, "Computer - End Program." 2. Tell her she's in violation of the Prime Directive and she is interfering with a lesser developed civilization. 1. Borg her.
ABC announced that William Shatner will join Regis Philbin and Howie Mandel in the ranks of game show hosts. The new show is titled, "Who Wants to be Famous Twenty Years Ago?"
Your Captain Might Be A Redneck If... Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a monthHe paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacellesYou have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"He refers to Klingons as "Critters"He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foilThere is a stuffed possum in the Ready RoomHe installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer sectionHe says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"He resigned his command because he always wanted to own a fireworks standHe hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreenHe rewires his communicator into his belt buckleHe replicates items from the Graceland gift shopThe primary colour of the Starship is "bondo"He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above itHe says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "E"gage"He can't wait to go off-duty, so more...
Top 10 Reasons Star Trek Is Better Than Star Wars 10. Deanna Troi discarded the bun after one season. Princess Leia still has those donut braids. 9. Worf's speech is at least intelligible, but Harrison Ford has to translate for Chewbacca. 8. Star Trek villains do NOT have asthma. 7. Star Wars spawned "Battlestar Galactica." The worst Star Trek ever did was "Babylon Five." 6. Spock--' nuff said. 5. Star Trek-- the first space shuttle. Star Wars-- a hare-brained nuclear defense system. 4. Kirk met "God" and told him off; Sisko met Q and decked him flat; Luke Skywalker met Yoda and was speechless. 3. Star Wars androids look like electronic trash cans on wheels. Star Trek androids look like some people's ideal in masculine beauty. 2. Star Wars: Princess Leia. Star Trek: Lt. Uhura, Nurse Chapel, Yeo. Rand, Lt. Saavik, Cmr. Troi, Dr. Crusher, Lt. Yar, Ens. Ro, Dr. Pulaski, Nurse Ogawa, Amb. K'ehleyr, Amb. Lwaxana Troi, Maj. Kira, Lt. Dax, Kai Winn, Lursa, more...
An asteroid between Mars and Jupiter has been renamed "7307 Takei" in honor of the actor, best known for his role as Hikaru Sulu in the original "Star Trek" series and movies.
It is fairly easy to spot. It is the big gay one with the deep voice.