Trump Jokes / Recent Jokes
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, she'd be Whoopi Cushing.
If Swoosie Kurtz married Patrick Swayze, she'd be Swoosie Swayze.
If Flip Wilson married Les Aucoin, he'd be Flip Aucoin.
If Barbara Hershey married John Candy, divorced him to marry Roseanne Barr, she'd be Barbara Hershey Candy Barr.
If Julie Emry married Jeff Gillooly, divorced him to marry Darlene Hooley, then divorced her to marry Wes Cooley, she'd be Julie Gillooly Hooley Cooley.
If Ivana Trump married Neil Diamond, divorced him to marry Jack Nicklaus, then divorced him to marry John Darling, she'd be Ivana Diamond Nicklaus Darling.
If Julie London married Beau Bridges, divorced him and married composer Manuel de Falla, then married Hugh Downs, she'd be Julie more...
The president of the Miss Universe Organization said Miss USA Tara Conner will not be dethroned. They released a statement saying "The Organization and Mr. Donald J. Trump will be evaluating her behavioral and personal issues”...
And by “evaluating” Trump means, repeating the bathing suit portion of the contest. And by “personal”, he means; in his personal suite at The Trump Hotel.
Heard on Global Village Network News on the Nickelodeon cable TV Channel:
Donald Trump reports that he actually has a dime for every time he's been
called a ruthless bloodsucking bastard.
Miss USA Tara Conner, who had come under criticism amid rumors she had been frequenting bars while underage, will be allowed to keep her title, Donald Trump announced Tuesday.
"I've always been a believer in second chances," Trump, who owns the Miss Universe Organization with NBC, said with Conner at his side.
Trump said he and Conner had met earlier Tuesday morning.
"She left a small town in Kentucky and she was telling me that she got caught up in the whirlwind of New York," Trump said. "At least that's what I think she said, it's always hard to understand what women are saying when you're banging them from behind. But it's clear she's willing to do what it takes to keep her title."