Vanilla Jokes / Recent Jokes
The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?"
"Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue.
"Do you have laryngitis?" the young man asked sympathetically.
"Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry."
Grandma was always busy in her kitchen. She would be baking one kind of cookie or another. Chocolate Chip, Oatmeal Raisin, Molasses, Chocolate Chocolate Chip, she made all kinds. One time our family visited when she was making a batch of her Mini Vanilla Sandwich cookies. My brother and I would anxiously wait for them to come down the conveyor belt. We then snatched a handful of the warm cookies before they were shoveled into the cellophane bag and sealed shut by the huge machine. Nothing says love like warm Grandma's Mini Vanilla Sandwich cookies.
Vanilla Ice performed at halftime of a New Jersey Nets game. To make the Nets look good in comparison.
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Vanilla.
Vanilla who?
Vanilla call the doctor?
In the wee hours of the morning three Irish robbers meet and embark on their plans to get rich. Once inside the bank, efforts at disabling the internal security system get under way immediately. The robbers, expecting to find one or two huge safes filled with cash and valuables were more than surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered strategically throughout the bank.
The first safe's combination was cracked, and inside the robbers found only a bowl of vanilla pudding. "Well," said one robber to another, "at least we got a bit to eat." They opened up the second safe and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding, and the process continued until all the safes were opened and there was not one dollar, a diamond, nor an ounce of gold to be found.
Instead, all the safes contained containers of pudding. Disappointed, each of the mobsters made a quiet exit, leaving with nothing more than queasy, uncomfortably full more...
An elderly couple is getting ready for bed. She says Oh I am just so hungry for ice cream and there isn't any in the house." He says, " I'll go get some." She says, "Vanilla with chocolate sauce, with whipped cream on top and a cherry." She adds, "Please write it down, I know you'll forget." He says," I won't forget. Vanilla with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry."
Away he goes. Hours later he comes back and hands her a paper bag. "In it is a "HAM SANDWICH". She says," I told you to write it down! You forgot the mustard."
A True Ice Cream Story
This is a weird but true story (with a moral). ..
A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:
"This is the second time I have written you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I kind of sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night. But the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it.
It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem. You see, every time I buy vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine.
I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds:' What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not more...