Matrix Jokes / Recent Jokes
Log On:Making the wood stove hotter.
Log Off:Don't add wood.
Monitor:Keep an eye on the wood stove.
Download:Getting the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz:When you're not careful downloading (watch the toes!)
Floppy Disk:What you get from piling too much wood.
RAM:The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
Hard Drive:Getting home in mud season.
Prompt:What you wish the mail was in mud season.
Windows:What to shut when it's 30 below.
Screen:What you need for black fly season.
Byte:What black flies do.
Chip:What to munch on.
Micro Chip:What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
Infrared:Where the leftovers go when Fred's around.
Modem:What you did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix:Farmer Matrix's wife.
Lap Top:Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard:Where you hang your keys.
Software:Plastic eating utensils.
Mouse:What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
Main Frame:The part of the barn that more...
Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter. Log Off: Don't add no wood. Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove. Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup. Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin'. Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood. Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood. Hard Drive: Getting' home in the winter season. Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter. Windows: What to shut when it's below 15 below. Screen: What' cha need for the black fly season. Byte: That's what the flies do. Chip: What to munch on. Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag. Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around. Modem: What' cha did to the hay fields. Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife. Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy. Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys. Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils. Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain. Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof. Port: Fancy wine. Enter: C'mon in. Random Access Memory: You can't remember more...
Redneck computer terms
Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off: Don't add no wood.
Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin'.
Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.
Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive: Getting' home in the winter season.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.
Windows: What to shut when it's below 15 below.
Screen: What' cha need for the black fly season.
Byte: That's what the flies do.
Chip: What to munch on.
Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag.
Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.
Modem: What' cha did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife.
Lap Top: Where little kids feel more...
Log on -- Make the wood stove hotter
Log off -- Don't add no more wood
Monitor -- Keep an eye on that wood stove
Download -- Getting the firewood off the truck
Floppy disk -- What you get from trying to carry too much firewood
Ram -- The thing that splits the firewood
Hard drive -- Getting home in the winter
Prompt -- What the mail ain't in the winter
Window -- What to shut when it's cold outside
Screen -- What to shut in black fly season
Byte -- What the black flies do
Bit -- What the black flies did
Mega Byte -- What the BIG black flies do chip Munchies for TV
Micro Chip -- What's left in the bag after you eat the chips
Modem -- What you did to the hay fields
Dot matrix -- Old Dan Matrix's wife
Lap top -- Where the kitty sleeps
Software -- The dumb plastic knives & forks they give you at McDonalds
Hardware -- The real stainless steel cutlery.
Mouse -- What eats grain in the barn
Main more...
Log on - Adding a log to your wood stove
Log off - Don't add a log to your wood stove
Monitor - Keep an eye on the wood stove
Megahertz - When a big log drops on your bare foot in the morning
Floppy disk - What you get from piling too much wood into your wood stove
Ram - The hydraulic machine that makes the woodsplitter work
Drive - Getting home during most of the winter to your wood stove
Hard drive - Trying to get home during a heavy snow storm
Prompt - What you wish the mail was during the snow season
Enter - Come on in
Windows - What you must shut when the temperature hits 10 below
Screen - What is a must during black fly season
Chip - What you munch during a football games
Microchip - What's left in the bag when the normal chips are gone
Modem - What you did to your fields last July
Dot Matrix - Eino Matrix's more...
Gets his orders from another planet. Gets hypnotized on the de-spun section. Gets parity errors under load. Gives a lot of bull for somebody what ain't got no cattle. Goalie for the dart team. God might still use him for miracle practice. God's favorite target for lightning strikes. Goes with the flow... He's a bed wetter. Good at quantum tunneling but not much else. Got a life, but wasn't sure what to do with it. Got his brains as a stocking stuffer. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching. Guillotining him would make only an aesthetic difference. Gyros are loose. Habits explainable if he was raised by wolves. Had a head crash. Half a bubble off plumb. -- attributed to Mark Twain Happiness is seeing her picture on a milk carton. Hard to distinguish from the tail end of a horse. Hard to tell if he has an ace up his sleeve or if the ace is missing from his deck altogether. Has a bus fault problem. Has a few wait states. Has a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing more...