Organization Jokes / Recent Jokes
The president of the Miss Universe Organization said Miss USA Tara Conner will not be dethroned. They released a statement saying "The Organization and Mr. Donald J. Trump will be evaluating her behavioral and personal issues”...
And by “evaluating” Trump means, repeating the bathing suit portion of the contest. And by “personal”, he means; in his personal suite at The Trump Hotel.
A new organization has been formed, called Athletics Anonymous. When you get the urge to play golf, baseball or any other game involving physical activity, they send someone over to drink with you until the urge passes.
What does your profession say about you?
1. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
2. SALES - Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
3. TECHNOLOGY - Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don`t understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
4. ENGINEERING - One of only two signs that more...
Julius Caesar:
My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. I'd like to get away from all that.
Jesse James:
I can list among my experience and skills:
leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of security measures at numerous banks.
Marie Antoinette:
My management style has been criticized,
but I'd like to think of myself as a people person.
Joseph Guillotin:
I can give your company a head start on the competition.
Hamlet:
My position was eliminated in a hostile takeover.
Lucrezia Borgia:
My greatest accomplishment? After I took over the department, our competition just seemed to drop out of sight one by one.
Pandora:
I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering new things.
Genghis Khan:
My primary talent is downsizing.
On my last job I downsized my staff, my organization, and the populations of several more...
A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO (health maintenance organization) have all died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter speaks with them and asks what good each has done in their lives.
The doctor says, "I have devoted my life to the sick and needy and have had a part in caring for and healing thousands of poor people."
Saint Peter says, "That's great. Go ahead into heaven. And what about you, nurse?"
The nurse says, "I've supported the good doctor and his patients my entire life as an adult."
Saint Peter replies, "Wonderful. Please proceed in with the doctor. And what about you?"
The HMO director says, "I was the president of a very large HMO and was responsible for the healthcare of millions of people all over the country." Saint Peter says, "Oh, I see. Please go in. .. but you can only stay two nights!"
Astrology tells us about people and their future by their time, date and location of birth. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of a person's birth. Demographics tell us what others like, dislike, whom they voted for, as well as what they buy and what they watch on television. The Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by an individual's job title, people can pretty much learn about an employee's hidden personality traits.
MARKETING:
You are ambitious, yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES:
Laziest of all the Corporate Signs, often referred to as a "marketer without a degree". You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid all contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big more...
What does your profession say about you? 1. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales. 2. SALES - Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life. 3. TECHNOLOGY - Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth. 4. ENGINEERING - One of only two signs that actually studied in school. more...