Television Jokes / Recent Jokes

Oprah’s latest book club pick is Ken Follet’s 973-page “Pillars of the Earth.” Her praise for the novel, however, took a hit when Dr. Phil called Follet a lazy sack of crap for not writing 27 more pages.

A new study shows that a male birth control pill might be possible. It would be most effective if taken while watching The View.

American Idol runner up Clay Aiken told the world yesterday that he is gay.

Which is ironic, because the world has been telling him he's gay for years.

A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Bush appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, “Now, there’s the biggest horse’s ass I’ve ever seen. ” A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and decked him. A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Mrs. Bush appeared on the television. “She’s a horse’s ass too, ” the man. This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool. “Damn it! ” the man said, climbing back up to the bar. “This must be Bush country! ” “Nope, ” the bartender replied. “Horse country! ”

Thousands of young hopefuls lined up at Continental Arena yesterday with dreams of becoming the next'American Idol'. Many were reduced to tears when they learned that Simon thinks they suck ass. This season, American Idol is offering wannabes a second chance, it's called talent.
The young lady, pictured above, try to get the attention of producers by writing American Idol on her breasts. Sadly, that effort was wasted on Ryan Seacrest.

A spokesperson said that the network will keep its name, but the logo will be changed to a drunk cowboy holding a bible. In return, the White House will rename the Lincoln Bedroom "Murdoch's Pad."

Knowing that I was a huge Mission Impossible fan, a friend sent me a voicemail yesterday informing me that Peter Graves has passed.
Thirty seconds later, the message self-destructed.