Bailout Jokes / Recent Jokes
Congress just voted on a 14 billion dollar auto industry bailout
I think the auto companies went to the wrong people if they were looking for a bailout.
If they wanted to go to someone who would spend taxpayer money recklessly and bid millions more then they are worth they should have signed with the New York Yankees
Under a new deal, the government revamped its rescue package to the insurance giant, AIG, saying it will give an additional $30 billion on an "as needed" basis. AIG's bailout now totals around $173 billion. The U.S. government has now made four separate efforts to save the company.
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Maybe I just don't understand these things, but shouldn't AIG have had insurance?
Police said he had a previous record for robbing a Starbucks and a DMV.
Scientists have found that spikes on the genitals of malefruit flies literally help them hold onto females. However, it’s not quite as effective as having seven or morefigures in your bank account.
Fantasy Fist Fight- noun. 1. a fictional battle waged between two or more entities. these entities may be people (living, dead, or fictional), animals, deities, forces of nature, etc. 2. a game often played by adolescent males who are in dire need of female companionship.
Today's Fights:
1. Hugh Hefner Vs. Thousands of Bees (Hefner gets a pesticide gun):
One's every man's dream: rich, cool, and surrounded by beautiful women. The other's a swarm of deadly insects aiming to take him down. Has the founder of Playboy magazine finally met his match? To make things a little more even, we'll give Hef a gun that shoots a pesticide blend. It should take out about 50 bees per shot. But all the viagra and silicone in the world won't stop a tremendous swarm of killer bees (i think...). Fight ends with the bees delivering enough stings to Hefner's body that he is killed almost instantly. In his honor, his family begins the "Hugh Hefner Society to Test Bee more...
I thought it would be pretty cool to have my own 900 phone sex line. Since no one knew I was gonna do it I decided to call up a bunch of people and gave them free samples. Anyway, to make a long story short – I’m on probation now. It was a learning experience, though. For example; I learned that they train the people who work at Citibank to hang up as soon as anyone starts talking about their “hard throbbing cock”.
Robert Nuranen of Hancock, Michigan, just returned a copy of “Prince of Egypt” to the library 47 years late. The return, with a due date of June 2, 1960, incurred a late fee of $147.
To prevent a future incident, the library is now considering adopting Blockbuster's return policies, under which Nuranen would have incurred a fee equivalent to his own little national debt.