Democrat Jokes / Recent Jokes

Eric Massa, responding to charges he groped a male page, responded, "Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe..."
Apparently, his biggest complaint against Rahm Emanuel's physical contact in the Congressional Gym showers is that Rahm is lousy at tickling.
(Rumors are that Emanuel was just in there trying to keep a fish alive by holding it under the shower head.)

They're consulting with John Kerry to see how his works.

Stupid Hillary--if she would have just made a nice effort to reconcile these feuding countries instead of actually succeeding, she could have won the Nobel Peace Prize.

The Republican chairman of the House Intelligence Committee suspended a Democratic staff member pending an investigation into whther he leaked a high-level intelligence assessment.
Democrats argue on the grounds that there is no high-level intelligence in government.

A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I. Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center's director that he was an acceptable candidate. "That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive." "Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat's brain is seventy-five thousand dollars." "Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat's brain? Why on earth is that?" "Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many Democrats we would have to kill?"

Illinois Senator Barack Obama, the son of a goat herder from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas, is wrapping up a wildly successful tour of his father's homeland.
Said Obama, "I want to show Kenyans that, in America, you can be successful even if your mother was born in Kansas."

President Obama contributed $75 billion to help homeowners during the mortgage crisis.
It's true! Bank CEOs are homeowners.