Stand-Up Comedy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Just be glad is wasn't Rosie Odonnell being ticketed for wearing a string bikini.
BusinessWeek has released the much awaited “Most affordable housing in America”. First was any housing within’ shouting distance of Rosie O’Donnell.
Second and slightly more expensive is any of the appliance boxes tucked under the highway overpasses.
The other night my girlfriend and I are watching Seinfeld, and the episode happens to be The Gymnast. Then comes that one line where the gymnast tells Jerry of what she'd heard about comedians and their supposed...legendary sexual prowess. Ultimately she tells Jerry: "You may tell jokes, Mr. Seinfeld, but you are no comedian."
I turn to my girlfriend: "So, uh...am I a comedian?"
Her response: "Honey, if you never told another joke in your life, you'd still be the greatest comedian I've ever known."
Ladies, I hope you were taking notes. Because that is how you get your man to take out the trash.
This is one of my favorites. George Carlin - one of the greats who will be missed.
This weekend, Comic Relief will be helping the victims of Hurricane Katrina. "We want to remind viewers that there are still many people who need help," said host Robin Williams, who will also remind viewers that loud does not equal funny.
While hosting New Year's Eve in Times Square with Anderson Cooper, comedian Kathy Griffin went on a vulgar tirade, saying to some hecklers, "Screw you. Why don't you get a job, buddy? You know what? I don't go to your job and knock the dick out of your mouth."
The network is considering not having Griffin back. Not because of the vulgarity, but the lack of originality.
Rosie O'Donnell says she's sorry for mocking spoken Chinese on "The View," but journalists from diverse ethnic backgrounds, including Chinese American, say it wasn't enough.
The Chinese representative stated: "China is a growing superpower that may overtake the U.S. in economic dominance."
Adding: "Fifty years from now we'll have her upside down with a f*cking chopstick in her ass!"