Television Jokes / Recent Jokes
When C-SPAN aired the Fox v. FCC case live, the broadcast ended up being filled with the same expletives that the FCC is rallying against. No joke here, that's just fucking awesome.
On Fox News tonight there was a story about how you can actually get more jail time for stealing a pair of shoes than for being a child molester.
If this is true, I think there will be a lot of arguments like this in court:
"You can see, Your Honor, that it was just a simple misunderstanding. I wasn't planning to steal his shoes. I was just taking them OFF so I could molest him. "
A CBS producer, claiming knowledge of sexual relationships between David Letterman and female staffers, has been indicted for trying to extort $2 million from him.
What an idiot! He could have gotten twice that money extorting the female staffers!
The guy who tried to extort David Letterman was also looking for dirt on Jay Leno.The only thing he found were several auto-erotic incidents in Leno's garage.
If you're looking for a really unusual pet," said the shop owner, "this cage contains a giant Crunch Bird. Its powerful beak and claws are capable of completely demolishing almost anything."
"How horrible," said the woman customer.
"Not at all," the pet-shop owner replied, "for the bird is remarkably well behaved and completely obedient. It is only when he is given a direct command, such as' Crunch Bird, the chair,' or' Crunch Bird, the table,' that he attacks and destroys the thing that was named."
"Could he destroy a television set?" the woman asked, with new interest.
"Console or table model. Color or black-and-white. If the Crunch Bird was given the command he would turn any set into a pile of metal scrap, wires and tubes in a few seconds."
"I want him!" the woman exclaimed. "I don't care what he costs, I want him!"
When the woman returned home, she found her husband more...
One of David Letterman's staff broke silence today! She stated "....sex was not that bad with Dave, he let's you keep the Sarah Palin wig!"
A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. "Do you watch much television here?"
"Only the daytime shows," the inmate said. "At night we're locked in our cells and don't see any television."
"That's too bad," the reporter said, "But I do think it is nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime."
"What do you mean, nice?" the inmate said. "That's part of the punishment."