Television Jokes / Recent Jokes
Heather Mills will appear on ABCs "Dancing With the Stars," making her the first contestant to compete with an artificial limb. When asked if her prosthetic leg will hinder her dancing abilities Mills replied, -It didn't hinder my dancing abilities when I won millions of dollars from Paul McCartney-
The FCC fielded 800,000 calls last week after the government mandated switch to digital television.
How can they just switch everyones television signal to digital without giving any kind of advance warning. They should have been running advertising warning people that this was going to happen.
This is why people hate the government. They just don't communicate with the citizens about what's going on in their country.
Because the government refuses to communicate with it's populous I'm going to step in and inform you that the government has a plan to thin out the population by imprisoning, sterilizing and even euthanizing stupid people.
The first 800,000 to be rounded up will be the idiots who called the FCC about the switchover to digital TV.
Jerry Seinfeld was involved in a rollover car wreck in the Hamptons.
He later told police, "I should have known that the brakes would break. I mean, they're called brakes. When I'm driving, I don't need irony. I need to stop. I mean, come on, what's the deal?"
Police in Britain have a new plan to curb late-night noise outside of pubs---they’re giving lollipops to drinkers when they leave. The hope is that, with the lollipop in their mouths, the drunkards will stop speaking loudly and incoherently and causing disturbances.
Upon hearing this, CNN's Headline News producers purchased thousands of lollipops to be given to Nancy Grace.
All three Presidential candidates are expected to appear on "American Idol".
Viewers love the idea, but then they heard that come November they can't vote through their phone, so they stopped caring.
For Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Late Show host and boss David Letterman will encourage employees to wear pink ribbons, participate in a fundraiser walk, and get free breast exams given by Letterman himself.