United States Jokes / Recent Jokes

A plane flying over New Jersey had mechanical problems and needed to dump it's gas. Or, as Jersey residents called it, "spray some air freshener."

USA Today reports that 9/11 put anonymous faces on the front page of history.
Former President Bill Clinton boasted, "I knew about Osama Bin Laden when he was a nobody."

President Bush: If I knew there really was not any nuclear weapons in North Korea, and we could kick their ass and if they had something that would have made me and my friends very, very, rich like diamonds, oil, gold I would send the troops in like we were saving the world from Evil. But, since North Korea has a real nuke, and the leader is really evil and crazy and a real threat to the world. Screw it. We are not going.

The AP reported that actor Isaiah Washington apologized for using the word "f*ggot," since it's not okay in any context. Unless you're writing an article for the AP.

A Houston man is under arrest after picking up a knife and throwing it at another man who was sharing his hotel room after he passed gas in it.
The man defended himself for the knife-throwing incident, telling police he was only trying to cut the cheese.

Barack Obama was so busy during his Asian trip that he forgot to buy souvenirs for his daughters. Fortunately, he found a couple "made in China" T-shirts at a DC Wal-mart.

On Monday, Lebanese prime minister Faud Siniora hosted a surprise visit by Condoleezza Rice. "Condi!" he shouted from deep inside a bomb shelter, "I'd love to chat, but it's kind of a bad time."