Stand-Up Comedy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Amid the brewing controversy over Michael Richards' racist tirade against several black hecklers at a show in Hollywood last Friday, many people are turning to the stand-up comedian community in asking if there was a better way to handle the incident.
Most comics prepare a fall-back line destined to shut up even the most seasoned heckler once and for all. As Richards explained later, "I couldn't take it anymore. These guys were bugging the piss outta me. So I lined up the big gun and prepared to blow these loudmouths away, when all of a sudden, I got a good look at them, and, I'll be damned. I do go down to where they work and knock the dicks out of their mouths. Yeah, like every other Friday. It's just something I like doing. Talk about embarrassing. I don't know where the n----- stuff came from. I was just ad-libbing at that point."
Have you ever noticed that when you get your civil rigthts violated by the LAPD you get a beating while someone is video taping, whereas when you get your civil rights violated by the NYPD you just get shot dead?
What's up with that?
Season 7 now available on DVD.
Kathy Griffin, after being dumped by CNN following her outburst on New Year's Eve, is coming out with her own line of lip protection. The new product will be called "F-balm."
Robin Williams has re-entered a rehab facility for alcohol abuse. Now he's hacking Mel Gibson.
Dane Cook has broken a Laugh Factory endurance record by performing for 7 straight hours. The club will now change its name to the Twitch & Spaz Nervous Laughter Factory.
Police found 93 pounds of women's panties in a burgurlar's home. The evidence filled five garbage bags.
They immediately contacted Rosie O'Donnell to see if she was missing 5 pairs of panties.
For each pair of Google searches, choose the one that returns the greater number of search results.*
1) a. "anal fissures" b. "vaginal itching"
2) a. "Blacks are stupid" b. "Jews control the media"
3) a. "Paris Hilton" & "dumb ass" b. "Paris Hilton" & "skank"
4) a. "dirty Sanchez" b. "rusty trombone"
5) a. "hot Asian teens" b. "fat girls naked"
6) a. "Janet Reno is sexy" b. "Rosie O'Donnell is sexy"
7) a. "Michael Jackson" & "pedophile" b. "Whitney Houston" & "crackhead"
*search results as of August 20, 2006, 2:35 EDT
answers: 1)a 2)b 3)b 4)a 5)b 6)a 7)a